What an interesting time this has been, these past few days. I hit rock bottom Saturday night, and began crying out all the frustration and pain I have been experiencing (it actually turned out to be a good outlet). Suddenly, and unpredictably, I began to laugh at myself. I was laughing at myself as I realized my considerably pathetic situation: a 21-year-old college girl crying inconsolably, left alone on a Saturday night (it is an all-too-classic situation that in the past I have laughed at the seeming ridiculousness of it...and now I found myself in that exact situation). It was quite a novel experience to me, laughing at myself, and then literally 10 seconds later, bursting back into tears. I felt alone, and altogether unwanted, and yet the combined crying/laughing technique actually turned out to be surprisingly therapeutic; except for a couple of tears yesterday caused by extraneous factors, I have since then felt a renewed sense of confidence and optimism. I feel like I can overcome any and all of these challenges that I am now facing. Much of this renewed confidence in life I owe to the support of my roommates and friends. When I was crying, they made sure I had someone to cry with. When I was laughing, they were laughing along with me. When I had to talk it all out, they listen and give advice and alternative perspectives that help me to more fully consider my situation and its alternatives. I have come to value true friendship and the support that those friends render.
Today as I was in my latin dance class, we watched through the large windows in our studio at the torrential rain and brilliant lightning. When class had finished, I turned to go up the seemingly endless hill of stairs and saw a cascade of water traveling down the steps, as if all of upper campus had flooded and was now draining down toward our building on lower ground. As I peered over the edge of the outdoor stairs, I saw the cascade of water drop off over the ledge to create a magnificent sheet waterfall. As the clouds quickly dissipated, and the sun came through, I saw as fleeting rainbows appeared here and there, shining through the prismic waterfall. It was a new sense of wonder that I hadn't before experienced, and significantly brightened my day by making me realize the wonder of my surroundings.
As I walked in to my next class, the professor was playing a song to welcome us: B.J. Thomas' "Raindrops Keep Fallin On My Head." It's from one of my favorite old(er) movies, "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid." It was a great way to start the class, even with the quiz that quickly followed.
I enjoyed the rain today. It made me smile. :)
